Why Is It So Hard to Be Happy Now?
Sofia is sitting in her office looking out the window, counting the minutes until 5 o’clock! She thinks to herself, “This week sucks! I wish it was already next month so I could go on my vacation, and then I’ll be happy.” Poor Sofia, wishing her life away for a one week vacation. What will she do when she gets back to work after her vacation, wish for the holiday break?
Why would anybody want to wait a month to be happy? And why are some people so generous in giving up their time to speed into the next moment? In a world where you can get almost anything you want within minutes, hours, or even a few days, why is it so hard to be happy now?
Okay so I’ll admit, I have been totally guilty of wishing away my time to get to the next moment. Raise your hand if you have too. In fact, in my house, we say “andale” which is a Spanish word that means, “let’s go” or as we use it “hurry up” when we want to speed up any process, like getting dressed or cleaning up.
This idea of “rushing time” is an unconscious process for many of us, meaning we don’t even know that we are doing it. It’s like we are on autopilot just going through the motions with a total lack of awareness. This is why mindful practices like meditation and yoga are so important because they help us get out of this “autopilot” state.
Just last week, I heard a powerful quote about “time and awareness” from my yoga instructor that I will paraphrase, “we only have a certain amount breaths in our lifetime and we get to choose how long those breaths last.” Meaning, the slower we breathe, the longer we live. Also, when we slow down, we are more conscious or aware of time so that we can also enjoy the richness of each precious moment.
There is always time to meditate.
So if each moment is so precious then, “what is our hurry to waste time?” For many people, this state of “hurry” is an escape from pain, worry, anxiety, boredom, depression, or some other lingering feeling or emotion, in hopes that the next moment will offer something better. Maybe some relief. These emotions and feelings are a pain or a burden that many people just don’t want to deal with.
Our society views this pain or burden as a bad thing that we should take a pill for to get rid of as fast as possible. The bad news is that avoiding these “pains” usually just prolongs the “pain” more. So even though it is uncomfortable, it is important to take the time and deal with these emotions, feelings, and pain in order for us to just be happy.
Moreover, what if there were no pills to get rid of pain and discomfort, perhaps people might be more conscious of how they treated their mind and body. They would only need to feel any pain just once to learn their lesson and then they might be motivated to change their ways.
For instance, if Sofia stopped for a moment to take a few deep breaths. She might realize that she is grateful that she has a job, an office with a window, and money to go on vacation. Maybe then, she might not have to wait a whole month be happy. She can just enjoy the moment she is in while letting go of any stress or pain that she is dealing with. I say the word “might” because some people like to learn lessons over and over again before they make any change.
Which brings me to my next point, “why is it so hard to be happy?” This is a question that women and man have been asking themselves since the beginning of time. In fact, as humans have evolved, our brains have gotten bigger. Why? Researchers say it is because our mental, emotional, and thought states need more space. In other words, we needed more room and power to deal with our “mental crap/peace.”
Still, what we have learned about happiness over the years is that it takes practice, which I say in almost all my blogs! It takes effort. It takes a daily commitment. And most of all, it takes TIME and AWARENESS. Dr. Martin Seligman says, “There are no shortcuts to happiness.” For many, this is a hard pill to swallow, because we can get almost everything else fast and easy.
I got nuts when I hear some coaches or scummy charlatans preach anything about “getting happy quick.” Getting happy quick just means that you will return to miserable quick. These results are not sustainable or long-lasting. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it is true.
Final thoughts: You can’t Instacart or Amazon happiness in a rush order. It takes time and patience. Being self-aware of how you use your time is important because then you can choose what happens each moment. Everybody can be happy if they choose to accept that the path to happiness is a “journey of moments in time that shouldn’t be wasted or rushed.”
Nobody has all the answers, we are all learning as we go. Just remember that happiness is a daily practice. The more your practice, the easier it becomes.
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