4 Things to Know About Controlling Your Emotions
Imagine that you are a bus driver in a busy city. Passengers come in and out of the bus. Some are rude and obnoxious, criticizing everything, while others are nice with a friendly smile and attitude. As the driver, you are responsible for learning each passenger’s needs and taking them wherever they want to go.
Regardless of who comes on the bus, you remain courteous and respectful. Now at any moment, you can ask any passenger to leave, if it means that they might harm the well-being of the others on the bus. Sometimes this task is uncomfortable and it makes you feel uneasy. Yet, once you do it, you immediately feel better.
Now let us use this bus analogy in comparison to our mental states of emotions and thoughts.
In this case, you are the driver of your own mental state (the bus) and the passengers (your emotions and thoughts) are just visiting. Each passenger has a good intention of some sort, even if they are rude and critical. Still, you can choose who stays on the bus and who doesn’t.
Being mindful of the passengers on the bus is important, as each of them requires some special attention and action sometimes. Consider that one of the passengers on the bus is “insecurity,” and this passenger shouts out things like “you are going to slow” or “this bus can’t make it.”
As the driver, you can ask the passenger “why do you think the way you do” and carefully listen to their answer. Maybe you can explain to the passenger that their negativity is not helping you get them to where they want to go, in efforts to change their negative attitude. If that doesn’t work, then you can stop the bus and let the passenger out. Again, this might be uncomfortable and it might make you feel uneasy. Yet it is very necessary for the happiness and well-being of your mental health.
Dr. Robert W. Firestone and Dr. Lisa Firestone wrote the following passage in their book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice: A Revolutionary Program to Counter Negative Thoughts and Live Free from Imagined Limitations:
“All of us are divided within ourselves and have a basic conflict in relation to our goals and aspirations in life. On one hand, we have feelings of warm self-regard, and we have traits and behaviors that we like or feel comfortable within ourselves…On the other hand, we have an unfriendly, critical view of ourselves. Often these destructive thoughts and attitudes become intense and take precedence over our more realistic or positive ways of thinking. They influence us to limit ourselves and sabotage our successes… In some cases, under stressful conditions, this negative way of thinking can increase, gaining more control over our actions, and can actually lead to seriously self-destructive behavior.”
In summary, here are 4 Things to Know About Controlling Your Emotions using this bus analogy:
- Emotions and thoughts are like passengers (emotions) on the bus (you are the bus), be mindful, respectful, and attentive to each of them because they all have good intentions.
- Listen to each passenger with the intention to learn what they might have to teach you. Take what you need to know and offer gratitude for the lesson.
- Know that you a have the power to let go of any of the passengers at any given time if they are harmful to your well-being.
- If you do nothing to the rowdy and critical passengers in the bus, they might take over and you might lose control.
Final thoughts: Through meditation or other mindful practices, you can be aware of the “passengers” on your mental bus and clear them out as needed. While understanding that each of them has a good intention or message for us, so being respectful to each passenger is important too.
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